We don't own clients, and clients don't own us, and anyone is free to see whoever they choose for their hair & beauty services.

We don't own clients, and clients don't own us, and anyone is free to see whoever they choose for their hair & beauty services.

But when you form a relationship with a client, and invest a little bit of yourself in time you see them, then watch that client walk out (apparently happy as ever), then to find they were in fact not happy, and to top it all off, now seeing someone else?

It's easy to feel broken and cheated.

That knot in your stomach, that sick feeling from the thought of self doubt, it creeps up on you & it's not easy to get over sometimes.

Even the most super positive business owners can get caught up in a sea of emotions, the hurt, the disbelief and shock of what feels like the start of an epic new Taylor Swift break up song! 

It's happened to me, and more recently, it actually caught me off guard too!

I've been working from home doing hair & beauty services for the last 8 years, and my most loyal clients are generally my neighbours, as they love the fact they can walk next door in their ugg boots at 8pm at night, drink wine, talk crap and get pampered (which i'm a total fan of as i love a girly catch up).

So who i thought was one of my most loyal clients like described above, recently made it publicly clear, she was looking for another hairdresser....

You guessed it, i'm totally human and went into mental gymnastics mode, 'What did i do wrong? Do i confront her about it? Or just let it go? Did she not like the way i did her hair? Did i say something wrong? Did i not mow her side of the front verge?'

I chose to let it go.

After reassurance from my trusted inner guides telling me "Elise! You're not currently taking on new clients anyway, you're super busy taking over the world to give a crap anyway!" It honestly didn't get more than 1 minute air time, and I got over it pretty quick.....

But then....

All the photos go up of her new hair colour and how much she loves it, and wants to refer all her friends on to her new hairdresser, I just can't help but have this super annoying thought of what went wrong?............

If i could kind of relate the feeling to anything it would be like your long term partner broke it off with you, didn't tell you why, just moved out one day, packed up all their stuff, no note, no phone call, just disappears. Then all of a sudden they post pics on Instagram of their new love​, taking selfies together eating ice cream and planning to get married like nothing happened? WTF?

You all know this feeling, and have no doubt experienced it more than once with clients, maybe even with family. The doubt, the hurt, the disappointment, the anger, the frustration, the guilt, or maybe even the pull to say or do something you will regret! They are totally normal feelings and reactions, so don't freak out.

On a more positive note, I'm actually really grateful for who she did find to do her hair, i know she is in safe hands​ knowing this lady in town is amazing, so for that i'm thankful.

But how do you move past it?​ How do you move from a place of total disappointment, total flat & self sabotaging energy? How do you move forward and away from the thoughts that take up way too much precious energy and space in your mind?

​I call it mind and mental memoirs, also known as journalling, and it really works wonders!

That process of unpacking your thoughts (positive and negative), and feelings about the situation, replaying it out in your mind and getting it out onto paper, can be such a relief.

Instead of revisiting it over and over again in your head, once it's out and on paper, you have permission to let it go. I always keep my mind and mental memoirs, i don't burn them, or rip them up, some do, but i always keep them. It's so refreshing to read it further down your journey and see how far you have come, and most times it becomes evident at what a blessing it actually was!

Well i have some really good news to share now, you have a spot to fill girl!

That client has chosen to move on (and that is a good thing trust me) on their own terms, NOT YOURS. The universe has now made room for someone who actually appreciates the love you put into your craft, the love you give to them not only doing their hair or beauty service, but to them as a human too!

You now have permission to let it go and move on to greatness!


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HBFH founder, passionate & proud home salon owner, educator, mentor, speaker & creative entrepreneur.

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